DBT: Don't Believe Everything You Think

The urge to quit doesn't mean I have to quit.

If you're feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and want to quit, you still have a choice. Instead of being at the mercy of the urge and automatically giving in to it (or even thinking that you have to), you can take your control back.

See the urge for what it is: an urge.  Remember that you are the one noticing your experience. You are not your experience!

Describe your experience. You can do that in this way:

"The urge to quit has arisen within me. I am noticing it."

At this point, you have a choice to either give in to the urge or to take steps to get stronger on your path to wellness by choosing ways to cope with the urge.  You might distract with other activities or soothe yourself through your senses until the urge passes -- and it always does.

Sometimes you just have to give yourself a day before taking action.  There have been many times that I've wanted to quit minor and major things in my life. When I began to say, "Okay, I don't have to do anything right now -- I can put this off and see how I feel tomorrow" -- that's when I really began to notice and believe that urges pass. This has saved me from sabotaging and destroying many good things in my life.

Give it a try!


Thanks for reading.
More Soon.


You May Also Enjoy Reading:

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

DBT Skill: Effectively Coping with Urges

Just about everyone struggles with urges from time to time, whether they be around staying away from substances like alcohol or drugs, self-harming, casual sex, or an endless number of things. You are not alone if you struggle with urges that feel overwhelming.

The great news about urges is that, no matter how strong they are, we still  have the power to choose  what action we will take.

If we are tempted to drink or do drugs but our sobriety is a major goal and value of ours, we can call a sober friend, a sponsor, or therapist to help talk us through the temptation so we can avoid following through on it.

If we feel like self-harming, we can again call someone we trust and who is supportive, or if that feels too vulnerable, we can do a DBT Distress Tolerance skill, such as holding an ice cube.

If we feel like having impulsive, casual sex for comfort and to ease loneliness, and we are aware enough to know that that's why we are about to do it, we can stop right there, get to a safe place where engaging in such behavior isn't possible, and distract with skills or soothe ourselves in a non-destructive way.

One of the most empowering moments in my recovery was something that might seem so obvious to people who don't suffer from emotion dysregulation issues: We have the power to choose how we will behave, what will do, and what we will not do -- no matter how strong an urge is.

Remember this the next time you're faced with an intense urge.  Notice how you feel when you choose to overcome the urge rather than give into it. Each time you do it, you build your strength for the next time it comes up. Eventually, the urge could lose most of its power. Imagine that.

Thanks for reading.

More Soon.

You might also be interested in these posts:

Controlling Impulses By Starting Small (DBT Ice Cube)

Stop Sabotaging: A 31-Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life