DBT: Don't Believe Everything You Think

The urge to quit doesn't mean I have to quit.

If you're feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and want to quit, you still have a choice. Instead of being at the mercy of the urge and automatically giving in to it (or even thinking that you have to), you can take your control back.

See the urge for what it is: an urge.  Remember that you are the one noticing your experience. You are not your experience!

Describe your experience. You can do that in this way:

"The urge to quit has arisen within me. I am noticing it."

At this point, you have a choice to either give in to the urge or to take steps to get stronger on your path to wellness by choosing ways to cope with the urge.  You might distract with other activities or soothe yourself through your senses until the urge passes -- and it always does.

Sometimes you just have to give yourself a day before taking action.  There have been many times that I've wanted to quit minor and major things in my life. When I began to say, "Okay, I don't have to do anything right now -- I can put this off and see how I feel tomorrow" -- that's when I really began to notice and believe that urges pass. This has saved me from sabotaging and destroying many good things in my life.

Give it a try!


Thanks for reading.
More Soon.


You May Also Enjoy Reading:

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

DBT for Distorted Thinking: Mind Reading

Sometimes we can get caught up in distorted thinking patterns. In DBT, we learn that thoughts are sometimes just that: thoughts. They are not always facts.

Have you even been really afraid that someone may believe something about you and you convince yourself that they must, even without checking out the facts?  Sometimes when we are afraid, we can project those fears onto other people.

For example, if I am afraid that I am fat, I may accuse you of thinking I am fat.  You may not think that at all. It's just a thought I had. It doesn't make it true.

According to a handout from Kaiser Permanente on recognizing distorted thinking styles, "Mind Reading" can be described as:

Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you.

I also found this excerpt from a book that was distributed to the members of the DBT group that I attend:

 "Mind reading is the tendency to make inferences about how people feel and think. In the long run, you are probably better off making no inferences about people at all. Either believe what they tell you or hold no belief at all until some conclusive evidence comes your way.  Treat all of your notions about people as hypotheses to be tested and checked out by asking them. If you lack direct information from the person involved, but have other evidence, evaluate your conclusions..."

I challenged some distorted thinking and will be checking off the following skills on my DBT Diary Card:

• Wise Mind
• Describe
• Effectiveness

Do you find yourself getting caught up in distorted thinking sometimes? What skills/strategies have you found helpful during these times?

Thanks for reading.

More Soon.