DBT: Breaking Free From a Judgmental Mindset

How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey. -- Steve Maraboli


Steps for reducing judgment/judging:

• Determine whether reducing judging is a priority for you. If it is, you are more likely to succeed in reducing this behavior. If you're only doing it because someone tells you that you should be less judgmental, you may not yet have the motivation to follow through.
• Notice Judgments (observe, notice, describe). Judgments may come in the form of thoughts, actions, and voice tone.
• For one week, monitor judgments by counting them each day. It is said that you can reduce a behavior by counting it.
• Replace judgments with consequences. (For example, if you notice yourself saying, "She's a jerk because she hasn't called me back yet," try, "I feel hurt that she hasn't called me back yet.")

Here's a really good video that a student did as part of a final project on the DBT Skill of Non-Judgment:

Your thoughts?


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DBT: A Dialectical New Year

How was 2012 for you? If you answered "it was a terrible year/the worst year of my life," or "it was the best year," either primarily negative or positive events came to the forefront of your mind when I asked.  We all know that, realistically, no year is "all good" or "all bad."

Even in a year filled with sorrow, there were moments of joy and happiness, and even in a year filled with happiness and success, there were moments of disappointment and sadness.

In DBT, we are urged to notice black or white thinking (also known as polarized thinking and all-or-nothing thinking).  On this first day of a new year, it's a good opportunity to reflect on 2012 in a dialectical way. (What is a dialectic?)

For each of us, the past year was filled with experiences of all sorts. Sad moments and happy moments coexisted in the same year. Successes and failures occurred within the same twelve month period.

2013 will be no different.  As we enter into the new year, let's practice noticing how seemingly opposing feelings, thoughts, and desires can co-occur, and how we can slow it down, observe this, and make sense of it all.


Wishing you a very Happy, Skillful New Year!


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More soon.